Work.. Job.. Me..

Monday i'll be starting my work..

My 1st official job after finished my studies..

Happy??.. Excited??.. i have none

Michelle asked me something today which make me also wonder myself

"how come you doesn't look like ppl who anxious for work??"

I questioned myself the same too

The answer??.. i have non to it

Only forcing myself to like it,

Forcing myself to go for this job..

In fact, i din even expect to go there and work..

Dad wants me to get higher position with higher salary,

Yes, and with what qualification??

Only a degree cert enough for me to get in without any experience??

Even if i want to, company that din give me chance, how can i possibly work..

Telling me to make my own decision,

and when i did, words *harsh words* come strike attacking me..

Attacked so hard, i dun even know who i am anymore

Only tears accompany me

Thank u tears =)

At times, i feel myself very stubborn

Stubborn to the level that i cannot accept the fact

But why gv me hope, and slap me with reality??

Is this how it ought to be??

Where we will never get what we want for but got what we less hope for

Reflection reflect upon me,.. I'm stubborn

Torn between 2

A) job that i feel i would prefer

B) job that is near to my hse *less prefer based on feeling*

HOW??

I still don't believe you

Trusting u, seems to get very far away from me

In the beginning i gave u all my trust

When u take it for granted, i gave u another chance

Trusting u will never fail me,

Trusting u'll prove to me my decision is correct

But then again, u have fail me

Thinking i'll be happier when i know nothing

I'm more sad than u can ever imagine when i see your lying face

A face that is so scared i'll know everything

A face that kept every little thing from me

A face that i wouldn't wanna face in my life

A face that i once thought i knew has gone

Do u understand simple english??

I said i dun mind if u keep in touch wit her

I said u can still continue be frens wit her

As long as u dun lie me

Is this too much to ask??

Or am i not as important as her??

U told me u hate it when i lied

U told me u are mad if i do so

But have u ever imagine i'll feel the same if i know u lied??

I never force u to stop sms her

I never force u to throw away every memory of her in ur mind

U willingly tell me u'll never contact her to make me happy

Is this just a lie when u actually did sms her??

All im hearing is u saying u love me

u called me as ur wife to ur frens

Is this all just a dream??

Why u have to break my heart again and again??

U think im jealous when i know u contact her

IM NOT.. understand??

i'm SAD when i know u lied me

I'M SAD WHEN I KNOW U LIED ME..

can open ur eyes BIG BIG and read properly??

If this is so difficult for u to understand

Then just make it easy..

I'll never care who u be with,

U dun come asking me who am i with

I'll lie every single second i can

Using all of your money when u gave me

If this is what u want, i can do it

Dun try to challenge my patience and trust

Being sad till the maximum level,

I dun even know how to cry out..

I only knew, i got nothing to talk..

If i'm a doll to u, u are nothing but atm machine to me

I dun think i can trust u anymore.. accept this fact

Let it be~~

let it go

let it go

let it go

Nitez

InterviewS


i had juz finish with my 2nd interview for this week..
1st, i attended the interview on Monday at Standard Chartered
2nd was in SJenie, part of Bursa Malaysia..

Now, im juz waiting for their call, whether i got hired or not..
Asking me which to prefer, it's equal XD *seems like i have no direction in life*
But i do accept everything that comes to me so that i can learn more..
Taking every opportunity i can and make it my strength ;)

Blood Day


Miracle does happen!!
went to check on my uni's website and found out my mark got changed..
was so excited, that i thought my eyes is playing my mind..
the best part was, i got another chance in re-sit the failed paper..
So, wat else im suppose to do but start my revision.. again?? XD

Wooi Wooi said there's a type of ice cream @ Taipan is nice
So we went out there, sneak a lil while, and had the ice cream..
Me and her shared coffee flavor.. while Ying and DuDu shared mango flavor


DaD and MoM went out again..
and then, we let WiN WiN come in..
while Wooi Wooi and DuDu make fruit juice, the noise got loud..
it scares WiN WiN that she sit on sofa until dun wanna move.. =)




Speaking bout blood day, i got injured..
sad case!
accidently cut my hand and it's the day before i re-sit my exam.. *sigh..*

Seems like im making big things out of small matters??
Try look at the picture below..

This is how much amount of blood i have rushing out from my nose!!
and haven't include the amount that drip off b4 i get to reach for tissue paper.. =(

Nose bleed until can do some pattern on the tissue.. LOL

Finally, i've done with my re-sit test.. Now juz waiting for result..

Hopefully got pass.. then i can start my work XD

Soul's gone~~


Im soooooooooo tired today..
will update when my soul has return to my body .. XD

I din't know legs from wooi wooi is so heavy.. haha
Kidding lerr.. WiNWiN yawn ;)

Most of the time...

yes, it's the truth

Sexy-nyer

Saw this MV when having lunch with Erline
Fell in love wit it XD

P/S: i dun even know wat Sean Paul's saying most of the time.. only chorus part.. BUT, i still feel he's sexayy LOL

Surprisingly,..

i've cut my own hair to be like this..

any comment??

Today,..

The hunt for Bubble Tea

Late evening, the urge for drinking bubble tea got high =p

even Michelle wanna drink, so we went out and buy..

Initially went to supplier shop to buy, but closed

then thinking of going to Little Taiwan, closed too

final choice, Summit XD

This is how we communicate.. LOL

If only there's one night i could sleep soundly

Here i go again

recently, i've been putting alot of fake smile..

the sad side of me is arising very fast..

felt like something heavy is going to crush me very hard soon..

i cry, out of nothing

i sad, out of nothing

i smile, that may not have meaning

i sigh, coz im nothing

ask me why i feel this way,

i can only answer "dunno"

because the honest and serious answer is, i really don't know

daydreaming of what i'd be in future..

is nothing but blank vision..

thinking of what should i do next..

is nothing, only left *...*

watching everyone doing their own stuff, makes me feel like im useless..

dad ask me to rest, enjoy holiday more,

frens ask me to not rushing in finding jobs,

hubby ask me slowly in finding work..

but i dun feel like staying at home..

i dun like the feeling of waking up everyday knowing i got absolutely nothing to do..

i dun feel that im myself anymore

"someone" invading me

and its... painful

Life.. is much more less now..


3rd July, went to condo overnight with Jessie..
Once reached there, i feel hungry *i think* and i ate maggi cup

4th July, went back home on afternoon, letting WiN WiN come in *coz parent went out* LOL

She's very obedient, when we offer her snack/food in return ><

See, after loitering for awhile, she's tired..

Im raising a pig *most ppl said* than a dog XD

Nevertheless, dun underestimate her..

WiN WiN can be serious and merajuk too, y'know??

Butterfly Park, KL

HuBBy went on a date to Butterfly Park,

i tag along to be light bulb.. haha

His fren, Vincent, wanna take picture..

testing photography skill i guess..

and me, pretending to be one as well.. with Nokia 5800

My art work.. so proud of myself =D

All of the sudden, Vincent found this :-

OMG.. it's HUGE!!.. honest!!


Then late nite, HuBBy and i went to The Curve..

Ate McD, but not nice *yuck*

We "ate" scenery instead.. yummy~~~

6th July, Michelle is going to have another leave on 070709

went to her hse and waited for her..

wait and wait,.. i played with her toys XD

i was having fun, talking wit Michelle and Shanny *my other cousin*..

all of the suddden..... OUCH!!!

i ter-hit my toe on the chair

it bleed.. it BLEED!!!!

toe nail half - gone :'(


Luckily, im professional.. XD

still can smile while camwhore with a bleeding toe

All Betina =p

Went out for another outing at Pyramid wit cousins and sisters..

tak de jantan.. cuma betina

hahaha

Back at home, we camwhore with tripod

*so professional leh*

Next post:-

Crazians invaded Pyramid

*.. to be continued...*

Neway.. again ><

Thursday went to Neway again with Du Du XD

sang for 4 hours until voice started to change..

*gosh*.. very thirsty =p

My life.. is so freeee now =(