Merdeka!!

Due to H1N1, there's no firework..

End up only look at the pics =(

Went to have dinner wit relative at Pyramid..

But my hp having some problem..

Unable to upload pics that i took..

*sigh*.. all seems to goes not smoothly

*pic taken from DuDU XD *

Happy Independence Day!!

A Moment of Silence

Recently whenever i do anything related with my hand,

i tend to realize something amiss..

- the ring that i used to wear -

A few times i went to wash hand,

Only to realize the ring is no longer there..

Being sad??.. yes i am.. BUT not until crying level

Juz throw myself with lots and lots of question and wonder "why" by myself..

Last time im not used to wearing ring..

Until he gave me, and i wore it, i get used to it..

But when i din wear it now, i feel uncomfortable..

Eventually, i'll get used to this

time will tell =)

It's scary for me to have a moment of silence now..

I dun wanna make myself sad again..

I talked more than b4,

Laughed more than b4,

During work, i packed myself full of work..

Now my current goal -

Is to earn lots of money =D

It's not that im denying to Love,

It's juz that for current moment, i would like to concentrate on my carreer more..

Who knows, i might be Datin / Dato' 1 day?? =p

Few Days of Tiring


As im much lazy to write anything right now, i might as well juz post some pics of wat i've done for these few days.. *B'day and Singapore trip* =)

Happy Birthday To Me =)

Doctor says..

I'm sick!!

Having fever + sore thraot during my b'day..

wat's worst is H1N1 season!!!

Why geh?? =(

heading to bed.. nitez..

Bad Bad Day


I wear mask to work today..
Bcoz i took emergency leave yesterday, telling them i got sick

Wearing the mask, actually, is to prevent from something.. Prevent ppl from knowing im crying from my desk..
I din thought that i'll be like that.. coz i thought im all over it..
But i end up being a failure.. I did cry at office..

When I was driving, many things came up into my mind..
It's weird whereby ppl tend to think of all those sweet memories and make themselves upset..
I know there's alot of ppl think im being dramatic..
He can be cruel to me, but i cannot be cruel to myself..

I already try my best not to let the tears fall..
But the tears eventually found its way out from my eyes..
Even by writting this blog, there's still tears playing around in my eyes..

I listen to music while doing my work..
And then, all of the sudden, i cry..
I dunno for how many times i cried, but i know i cry since the moment i sit in the office until i finish work..

I dunno why, he can change in 1 week..
I was hoping it's juz a dream..
I was hoping that he's giving me b'day surprise..
But all these has crushed..

I can't help but to think back all those words he said to me..
I thought back how we thank a person, for him who match us together..
I thought back how silly we are in conversation.. How i called him crazy man, and he called me crazy woman..
I thought back how he answer when i asked him how is he gonna proposed to me in future..
I thought back how we chat bout how many children we gonna have.. whether it's girl or boy..

Silly me, am i??

I never care of what ppl tells me..
They say he look feminine, i dun care
They say he's not highly educated, i dun care
They say he's not earning much, i dun care
All i care is that he's loving me and treats me far better than any other guy..

Yes, like any other couple, we did argue in some issue..
I used to be very childish, always carry the word "break up" beside my mouth..
But in the end, im still stick to him..

I dare not say im perfect, coz i know im not..
I dunno which word can describe how i felt now..
It's like doomsday to me.. Dying terribly..

My b'day is coming..
Each year i feel my b'day brings me bad luck..
It always fall on Hungry Ghost Festival..
Is this the reason why im hurt few times during the month of my b'day??
I thought of inviting "them" to invite me back to their "homes"
How stupid i can be.. =(

I talked to my manager this morning..
Saying i wanna quit the job..
Dun hv the happy feeling to work..
Funny part when manager ask me why am i unhappy, i suddenly thought of him..
I silence awhile and cry infront of her.. I really did..

Then manager asked me to see Assistant General Manager..
Again, the same conversation, AGM asked me why am i unhappy..
And again, i thought of him, pause a moment, and i cried..

I think i made history today..
Ever heard a person will cry when s/he's the one who wish to resign??
That'll be me..

Gosh, why must this happen right b4 my b'day??
I should be silence and pretend nth happen, and dun ask him anything..
But fact is fact, and i did ask..

I wish for different answer..
I dreamt he told me some1 was playing with his phone..
I dreamt some1 force him to say it..
But a dream, is juz a dream..
Wake up Maggie, he had voice out his wish - breaking up wit u

I wonder who's reading my post..
Who'll feel sad after knowing my situation..
Perhaps even drop a tears or two??
Who'll sit back and laugh at me..
Being very silly for being so emo-tic

Officially Single

need i say more??

Time fliess

In the speed of light, another week has gone..

I juz wish everything will be as bright as i hope it can be

Wishing for wishes that'll eventually come true =)

Hectic day

Feel like splitting myself into 2 parts today...
Giving me much job to do *which I love* but the time isn’t right...
Still, I din feel happy at all... i still feel sad having to wake up and think of going to work...

I guess I’ve mislead ppl
It’s not that I dun have works to do that made me feel sad
It’s just that I dun feel im there... Felt like im being extra...
I wanna change job, coz worrying that I might not have table next month...
Being patience doesn’t get me near to good news...
In fact, all im hearing is bad news...

How?? =(

Dissapointment

The following blog is just going to be sad

- not happy at all -

- fin -

Down with sick..

Woke up early this morning at 7am

Then found out my nose is bleeding.. =(

So i laid down for 10min b4 heading to shower..

Then as usual, back to work..

Reaching office felt so tired..

and now, i think i got fever..

ATTENTION, i got no flu.. CHOI for those who think i got swine flu, choi!

Luckily there's some fever pill in my bag *thanks to cousin*

after eating the pill, i feel sleepy.. owh God

Why the tears??


Wanna know how i felt??

See, it's all jumble up, which i dun even know why
since the 1st day i dun have the "welcome" feeling
i felt extra =(

Sitting alone at the corner, i start to wonder..
Do i have problem?? Is this meant to be?? Is this a test on my patience??
Am i not friendly enough??.. Do i look fierce??
Do i need to change??.. How to cope/blend in with them??

This morning, i suddenly thought of Befrienders
Befrienders is actually a place for ppl to tell out their problems (P&C) regardless of what the subject is..
And so, i went into their website..
While i was reading at their webpage, i feel like crying
and i almost did!!
Imagine me sitting at the office crying.. *wat a scene*
But im tough enough to not let the tears roll down from my cheek =)
The only time i can cry is b4 i sleep

tell myself to stay strong..
and see how things goes in coming days..
Dun cry Maggie, Dun =)

The 1st Day

03/08/09

is the 1st day of my 1st job..

and i felt so "lost" in the job..

When i 1st came in to the office, a girl asked me to wait

and so, i wait... and wait.... and wait.....

in the end, they told me i dun even have a table of my own..

My job is to listen call..

But in order to do so, i need to have a PC, which they tell me i dun have - yet

After awhile, manager talk to me..

She said she arranged a place for me but currently the place is empty

To me, it's ok.. coz at least now i have a table, making me feel im part of this depatment..

But it din come perfectly..

When manager told my senior, i heard senior whispering asking

"aren't this table suppose to be seated by so-and-so?"

Manager replied in whisper tone

"just let her seat here until she get back"

I pretend i din hear anything..

I asked around on what i should do

it's either nobody answer me or they ask me to focus on their web page

they're busy with their stuff, while i sit around waiting for time to pass ==

and yesterday all this matter evolve around my mind, keeping me from sleeping..

Am i being hired just to be extra??

i wish to have change job immediately =(

currently i have nothing to do.. so i blog this from office =)