The higher, might not be the better

have you ever felt so much pressure that you are unable to do anything except praying very hard that this will soon be over?

have you ever felt so pressure that there's no one can help u to release it except you, yourself, have to see it in different angle?

i did.. =(

so much pressure that i can only smile to others but crying to myself..

so much pressure that each time waking up to work felt like a heavy stone in my head..

so much hurt that i feel which result in crying overnight on the weekend b4 Monday comes =="

hence, in time, i was thinking, is this the pressure that i deserve?

i do not mean to find any excuses to claim that i'm unable to do..

what im pointing out is that i cannot split myself into half at 1 time..

to be at point A and point B at the same time is IMPOSSIBLE

and i tried to find a solution out, but it's not acceptable among the "bosses"..

what they see in their eyes is that i did not present what they expect me to be..

but what they do not know is i tried at my maximum best to juggle myself between point A and point B..

it's good to have someone guide you and teach you along the way..

but it would be too much and hard to digest if all were pour at once

isn't it a waste?