Who am i kidding?

Human only appreciate what's gone.. because when it no longer belongs to you, you'll realise how important it is to you..

Same goes to me.. i always take you for granted.. i know.. as a wife, i rarely fulfil your sexual needs, i rarely call you husband, i treated you coldly, i didn't introduce you to my friends, i rarely wanna go anywhere with you..

But i know, even if i've done so, coming back home, there's still you.. seeing you being impatient makes me happy.. like when you know someone touches me inappropriately, you'll go mad searching for that person.. i smiled in my heart :)

When i always says i didn't love you, i didn't realise im lying to myself.. who in the world can be pregnant with your kid if there's no love? When i said it's none of my business, i lied.. i wanted to know everything but i trusted you for not doing stuff that's hurting me.. i smiled in my heart :)

I'm wrong for not telling you how much i missed you or think of you when you're not around.. even when it is just work, i still didn't tell you because i know, looking at the time, u're coming back home soon.. i smiled in my heart :)

I enjoyed all the pamper you gave me.. and im greedy in wanting more.. but i neglected your feeling at the same time.. im sorry :)

Remember back when we first went to our trip at langkawi, you were being upset when i reject to be your girl.. some part of me smile, because i feel special.. no one ever asked me before and i like that..

Until the time where we first hold hand, the shyness on your face makes my heart melt, cause i never seen someone so happy and shy at the same time by just holding hand.. i smiled in my heart.. and remember the moon? :)

After i quit my recent job, of course im happy for don't have to work anymore.. after you have finally found a job, i decided not to work anymore.. frankly speaking, i really want to just be a housewife.. im not saying this because im afraid of not being attractive anymore.. but because i really wanna spend the rest of my life in this family..

I never forget what we gone through, and not saying that you are.. but because our time has not much left, it's like death to me.. so that's why all these thoughts came back..

I'm not posting this to hope for a change.. because we both have given up.. you're tired, i know.. so i sincerely want you to get some rest :)