Holiday with a lot of thinking

holiday holiday holiday!

I see people are on their vacation while I’m stil browsing the net, searching for a gateway =(

thought of heading to Penang, Port Dickson, Krabi, Phuket, Bangkok, Australia *love the thought but financially don’t allow at the moment*, many more where there’s sands and beaches…

hmmm…. I did plan on taking leaves on end of July… but where to go? a place where I can just forget about the work and stress, and enjoy with my family – especially my little boy.. hehe!.. AND with financially allow me to enjoy for that few days of leisure without having to sorrow afterward.. geezz, a lot of thinking here and there…

anyhow, any idea how I should plan it? or…. maybe… just cancel the thought??... *nooooooo….. =( *

Laziness

Recently the laziness in me grew even stronger.. all I want is to just stay at home doing nothing.. and I don’t even know why am I acting this way…

When I wake up in the morning, all I wanna do is to sleep back.. has age got to do with this?

I look at my mom and thought to myself that having her life is sort of free.. all she has to do is cook and follow wherever her husband or her children brings her to.. it’s like, when all of us are struggling with our work life, she got a peaceful life of her own.. and it almost feels like she’s on vacation everyday!

then, laying on the bed myself, try to reason myself out of it, only one factor wins all – if I don’t work, then I got no income for the family and myself… =(

I wish, like many others, money would just fell from the sky and for me to pick it up to spend.. LOL.. yeah, silly, but I have to dream big, they said…

All that I know is I don't know how to be something you'd miss

At the verge of death, one that does not have feelings at all is the one which soul has ripped apart from its body.

It is not a strange feeling for one to be so down; the only thing he/she can see is grey... Being in this life doesn’t seem to be at meaning already... and it is with much misery to see how one can come this far to end the path - themselves...

You may say it is the one who is so foolish to let the negativity breaks in... But you may also say there isn’t much positivity to begin with... and to who are we to finish off with a judgment base on what we know about others when we are not able to have conclusion of ourselves..

Looking at the mirror – for those lucky ones, you will notice your features... you can close your eyes to not see what you don’t want to see... you can shut your mouth to not say what you don’t want to say.. You can hold your breath to not smell what you don’t want to smell... but you definitely can’t close your ears without the help of your hands – so to speak...

So for this, remember, words can kill... it may not kill one physically... it may not cause external bleeding... but it can definitely kill one’s soul... and what is a human without the soul?

And then the question will starts to circulate on whether was it really the words that kills one’s soul or was it the one who allow the words to kill their souls?

You may not know how does it feels until you personally experience it... but does it means you have to experience exactly the same situation to know how it feels? So then, another question will arise *I’ll let you think of that*... and it can be never ending... never – ending...        

       

Whether it is IQ or EQ, I do not score high... in fact, mine was just average... among the foolish, I can be the wiser one... among the wise, I can be the foolish one... this is why we’re human... we change according to what we have gone through...

If one day, I ever die young, I wonder where will I be... and just like those scenes in movie, I’ll wonder, for sure, who will remembers me...

As dramatic as this post can be, I cannot possibly be smiling to the world for the whole time... And if I cannot cry in front of you, I might as well just shed tears within a confine area – a comfortable zone of mine…

Obsession

For some people, being obsessed is never a good thing...

I guess it is because others can feel that you’re irritating in a way... Or, annoying... But either one is not good... What’s more if it comes with both, right?

Hence, you have to take control of your own action... Not emotions but actions =)

The reason why I said it this way because, the more you fight with your feelings, the more you will lose *at least to me*... but the more you control your action, the more you will learn how to neutralize your emotions... Makes any sense? LOL

For example, let’s say you were in love with this person but you know for sure this person won’t love you back *for whatever reasons – hey! just an example*, if you control your emotions by telling yourself not to love him/her anymore, you’ll still love them even stronger, no? You’ll miss him/her more, you’ll think of him/her more etc… and gradually, at some point, you will start sending stupid text to him/her and regret later... oh yes, you know you will...

But let say you let the emotions goes freely, and at the same time you control your actions... You hold yourself not to text him/her, not to say stupid things like “I love you even though I know you do not love me back” etc... Eventually, one day, you will realize the emotions you let go freely really flies away with time... and this is not magic... this is what you CAN achieve by controlling the right thing at the right time..

Some of you may shake your head thinking “no, you’re wrong”, while some of you may nod and say “yeah, probably you’re right”... and there must be some of you who never thought about this and be “what do I care?”...

It WILL happen at one point in your life... be it an obsession over a person, items, or situations... yes, it will

Consolation prize *YAYY!*

What can you asked for when your boss is treating you really good?

At times, it is not about the salary that matters in a job. It’s the overall package to me!

Yeah, to some of you may have already know my salary is not up to par as the high standard of living in current society.

But hey! I’m still surviving, aren’t I? ;)

Just recently my boss and I joined a competition by Crabtree & Evelyn *view more in http://www.trumhum.wordpress.com *

And……… we won the consolation prize! It is exciting as we both were talking about not having any luck in winning anything. So, a consolation prize is really surprising for us! (I will assume this is only the beginning of the winning luck we have.. haha!)

As a result, we shared the prize and these is what I got---

Thank you boss!!

Your emotions are only yours and it is only for you to manipulate

Keep away your technology gadgets for a moment.

Take a sip of coffee / tea / whatever you like – and take a moment to think.

“Are you really happy?”

Once, there’s a friend asked me this and I answered with a question. It does not answer the question, but I know the friend who asked me somehow had some answers in him/her. The reason he/she ask is because he/she needs confirmation.

But what does the definition of happy is? To own a property? To travel around the world?

I would always say, “the definition of happy depends on you ;) “

Why? Because for everyone the definitions differs.

So the next time you’re feeling down, take a slow walk. Listen to your favorite song and define your happiness. Remember that no one, and I really mean no one, own your emotions except yourself!

*Shhhhh*

Everyone needs a good listener. And when does a good listener needs a good listener as well?

I’m sure that every human likes to talks about themselves. To tell others of their own stories, to share what they have been through.

Of course, it can be really anything! But you cannot just tell everyone or anyone. There must be “the one” that you wanted to share with.

Honestly, from my end, I listened to a lot of stories. It’s basically really easy to be a good listener – zip mouth, nod and nod. Naturally you will need to say a few words but pointless one.

Gosh, don’t know how I should put these in proper one. My mind just overflow with alien words only I could understand.

It’s not the part where I’m complaining. It’s a moment for you to think that I, too, need a good listener. 

Heart the Job

Just when you feel that you got no strength to go on, something pops up and tells you, you can!

Although I really love my current job, there are times where I feel really tired and just wanted to quit – for no reason.

Every morning I would think of a reason to get leave and then continue to sleep. But another side of me tells me “hey! It’s just another 8 hours of work. You can do it!” And so, I woke up, went shower, get dressed, and off to work I go.

For the past days, I do feel suffocating. It’s like as if to work is to hang myself without having the chance to breathe for the last time.

A minute after I feel like I’m dead, situations changed. I suddenly feel energized in doing what I do. Funny huh? Maybe this is why they say female are made from water. You can never predict their next mood or next action. LOL.

Whichever it is, I’m still happy with my current job. Although the pay is less, but I love it!