useless body

What can a pregnant lady do if all she have is lots of time? 

My body rest a lot, but not the mind.. to have a really good sleep has suddenly be the most difficult task for me to complete.. not sure why (maybe it was because of a lot of thinking), but it is just difficult..

Browsing through social network, i realize people around me begins to get married, having first or second child of their own, and just sharing their joy.. 

Smiling for them sometimes makes me think back about the past.. day time, it will be about happy moments.. and when night comes, it's sad moment.. maybe crying, at the moment, is the only solution for me to fall asleep faster..

When i first know im pregnant with 2nd child and lost my job, i wasn't sad.. because i know i have a home.. a home where my husband and my son will be there, to meet both at the same time.. but who would have know it ended up otherwise? :(

I used to tell people that im staying in this marriage solely because of my children.. but was it really only for my children or was it love?

Sometimes i really hate this useless body of mine.. because she often do stuff what people tells her to do.. and do stuff she know she doesn't want to do.. sometimes she also ignores what her body wants, and just do what she thinks is right..

but the heart really not comfortable with her body right now.. :'(